None of the races you do define who you are. Instead of results, focus on the feeling of riding perfect single track with your friends. Keep your eyes open to every new and familiar experience. Learn to love the process, and be the best you can be for yourself.

I have pancakes and coffee three hours before the start. Then I go back to the hotel room or team trailer and meditate. An hour and a half before the start I typically start getting ready. I always have my headphones on, but shift what I listen to based on my mood and emotions. Most of the time it's Kendrick Lamar, JID, Mos Def, or Mick Jenkins. But other times it's Bon Iver, Hippo Campus, or Dylan Owen. Every once in a while it's just white noise, but the headphones are a signal to others that I'm focusing on myself and getting ready to go to battle. After pinning my number on my jersey, I put on AMP PR Lotion, then just spin around for 20 minutes to clear my head. I come back an hour before the start and hop on the rollers to do my warm up routine. We hit the call up boxes 15 minutes before the start, and I focus on my breath and feel the calm before the storm.

The cumulative experience of my 2019 season was a pivotal point in my career and life. There was nothing dramatic that happened or changed, no real notable dip in my performance or training routine, but early in the season I felt a sort of numbness and indifference start to take hold. I felt like I was going through the motions and filling a role I wasn't sure I wanted to play, and I honestly wasn't sure if I wanted to race at this level anymore. But these feelings became a catalyst for growth. I started to reorient my purpose in this sport. I've developed more perspective about what matters, and I've grown to recognize the opportunity beneath every high and low I go through. I'm by no means finished with the process of learning about myself. But I now know I'm not willing to compromise any bit of the joy I have in riding my bike, or in living life for that matter.